Building Love Relationships That Last

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For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

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Building Love Relationships That Last

Friday, March 9, 2007

Are you in a relationship or thinking about getting into one? If so, then how will you know if you are building a lasting relationship, or simply going through a dance that’ll end in disaster. I’ve written this article as a sort of check list for the uninitiated in how to create and sustain a long term, passionate and totally inspiring relationship. Better, I think, to check the list, than to end up trying to repair damage. Once that is done, it’s extremely difficult.

Here’s a test. True or false.

The more kind you are to someone the more likely it is that they will stay with you in a relationship. True or False.

In a relationship, if someone is critical, nasty or verbally abusive you should approach them and tell them that it’s not ok? True or False.

The secret of romance is being generous, remembering important dates, taking a special someone to a special place. True or False.

Finally, foreplay is the key to great sex life. True or False.

How did you go with this? The answers to all the above are False.

More than 50% of marriages end in divorce. How many of those couples thought they would end in divorce when they first started? It is estimated that 80% of married couples are out of love. How could that happen when everyone you ask will give you all the advise on your relationship, free. Even the taxi driver knows.

And how many people have you met who lived happy contented lives until one day they were informed that they had cancer? The truth was that they had cancer for some time, but didn’t know it. They were unaware of the damage the cancer was causing and had it not been for a chance diagnosis triggered by some sort of discomfort, they would never have known until it was too late.

We know what it takes. Don’t we? We fall in love and go on a honeymoon. We go to Bali, Nepal, Maldives. We have a great time. We come back, we have a wonderful time, but over time, things start to change. Priorities shift, the bubble starts to empty, and then we start thinking of ways to blow the bubble back up again. Make babies and buy houses.

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But what happens to love. What happens to love, the thing that drove us to rise above the drama and confusion and emotion, to bypass all the criticisms and expectations. What happens to love?

Here’s my answer. Love is cumulative. It can’t stay static. The love you feel when you first meet someone, must be the least love you feel. It’s like plutonium that leaks from a container. It deteriorates. But how do we grow love? Picking apples does not grow trees, so making love, going on holidays does not grow love. Those are the benefits of it.

To build love, to find love we must stop doing things. And stop wanting things, and stop hoping for things to be different. We must become independent of things and what we want to find love again. Daily. And as each new day dawns, we have more and more reasons to loose that stillness. So, as we re-find love everyday, we re-find that love over the top of challenges. It takes courage, it takes persistence.

At the end of the day, love is as much about hope as it is about anything. When hope exists, love flourishes. Hope of what? Hope of happiness? True or False.

The real core of human motive is the hope of happiness. True. And the true causes of human happiness are dreams. Dreams of anything, unique dreams, individual dreams, emotional dreams, happy dreams, material dreams and powerful dreams. Baby dreams and life long dreams. When we think any dream will come true, we feel happy, and when we think the person we are with will make those dreams come true, we feel in love.

Can you see the emotional link between love and dreams and happiness. Happiness for most of us is a dream come true, and therefore love for another, and dreams are linked. But what a total farce.

Real love cannot rise out of this search for happiness and quest for dreams. Real love comes from contentment, stillness and the absence of all things emotional. Real love is like the flour in the cake. A dry dusty brew of tasteless powder, which, when mixed with water (emotion) fruits (actions) heat (passion) and given a chance to rise with air (romance) becomes something.

I have written a book on love which holds as precious this “flour” Sacred Love means love that lasts. It is beyond the measure of emotion, action, passion and romance. Sacred Love is the flour, our duty is to work the ingredients to ensure the cake can be eaten.

Dreams are a key. That is why I put the vision quest for lovers in the book. Romance is a daily activity. Growing through challenge simply means turning up and love is a lifestyle acknowledges that our environment, in every way, affects our love.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Christopher_Walker

posted by Linda Ringwood @ 4:37 AM

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