Falling Out of Love

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For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.

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Falling Out of Love

Monday, April 16, 2007

Okay so we all know falling in love is a wonderful thing. So how exactly do you fall out of love? How is it that everything that seemed so special, so wonderful, so perfect, turned into a freaking train wreck? In a split second life has gone from living in bliss to calling in damage control.

Where there certainly may not be a tried and true method, for sure keeping mementos be they pictures, clothing, phone numbers, emails, voice mails, all of the aforementioned relationship paraphernalia is a definite way to keep you held back in the past. All of these items piece by piece need to be dumped. Better yet, you need to burn what you can burn, but do it safely. I was informed by a friend when going through a breakup how necessary it is to have a funeral for a relationship. Yes a funeral. Her instructions were to gather the goods, put them in a container of sort, burn them and then bury the ashes. And no she is not a witch. In fact she said to say a prayer over this act and ask God to watch over the person and send the ex loved one to his or her highest possible good. After that take it a day at a time but move on.

The only way to heal is to go through the pain. That is the only way to get to the other side. It may hurt, sting, burn and make you have extremely evil thoughts and urges, but the fact is the only way to get to the other side is to go through it. After this process, you will find yourself with a new state of mind, heart and tolerance level. Sometimes an encounter with the pains of a relationship gone bad, can be a life changing experience. And let me just say I have a whole new respect for tears. Crying is one of the most freeing and cleansing experiences in this world. I know guys you are saying, "Men don't cry." Yes they do. But, I won't tell if you don't.

The strange thing about pains of the heart is that an individual seems to grow and see more clearly for the next encounter. Yes I know, at some point and time we all say, "there won't be another." Sure there will. Why deprive yourself as a human? This next time around however just like the beacon on a jet, your beacon will be lit, sensitive and ready as will be your radar. You will not compromise your well being and your heart because your radar will be attuned to your new thought process. Your senses will be more keen and astute and you will be less likely to make a decision that is not thought out. Of course before moving forward you will reflect back on the last encounter gone bad, and that's fine. Note I said reflect, not relive. The reliving thing is self torture, so throw that act the deuce and move on.

As much as we would like it to be, love, like relationships is not a simple thing. Just by the nature of the dynamics, it is complicated. Is there a way to prevent the hurt and pain of falling out of love? I don't know of one. If you know a way, bottle it, copyright it and market it. I guarantee you will be the next Bill Gates. My experience is all you can do is be a soldier, take your bullets and deal with it. But once that's done you come out kick ass strong and ready to deal with a whole new world, whole new game.

What I learned from my experience is that when you are torn down to your lowest point, I am talking being able to sit on the curb and swing your feet, this is when you are met with your greatest challenges. You find out exactly what you are made of. And I know for a fact that "God doesn't make junk." This is an opportunity to reach self-empowerment beyond all realms. But you have to pay attention, wake up, and move the trash out of your head, so that you are receptive to the new incoming thoughts and signals. People, we block our own good by allowing trash in our minds. We have to learn to control our thought process because what we think about is eventually what we bring into our lives. Now stroll down memory lane in your life and tell me if this is true.

Easier said than done. Been there done that. I think those are definitely good ways to start the subconscious to moving forward, but do I have to burn the shirt with his scent in it that I loved to sleep in so much? Not only yes, but burn it quickly. Burn it. Burn it! Burn it! Burn it! Is there an easy way to move on? If you know of one please share with the rest of us. The fact is even when you hate someone, if in your heart you loved him or her, you know it is still hard to let go. The love hate relationship is the hardest to get over but it can be done with time.

So what is the magic answer? Time. That's it, time and commitment to move on, to begin a new life, to do new things and meet new people. Make a commitment to yourself to not look back and go back to that same situation. Don't give this person anymore of yourself than you already have. You deserve better. More importantly realize that only time heals. Use this time to become the best person that you can be. The person can't be replaced, the love felt in that relationship can't be duplicated. Recognize your energies were specific to your relationship. So that being said, the chances of jumping into a new relationship that will honestly work are nil. That is not a fix to the problem. Unfortunately you have to suck it up and take the pain, go through it and create a new balance in your world. This way when you do meet the one worthy of you, you are rid of your trash and toxins.

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posted by Linda Ringwood @ 7:42 AM

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